Prom Night is murderless

Murderless…is that a word?

So, for the people that know me well know that I am a big movie whore. I love movies. No matter what kind I like them. Horror, drama, romance, epic, trilogies to even crappy d list movies. So i write these half-ass rant/ crappy version reviews to get practice on writing down my thoughts on a subject that I care about. Plus, at the end of the day, I hope someone reads it and either wants to watch the movie or avoid it in general.

So I’ve decided that the majority of my Movie reviews shall consist of movies that majority of people would avoid. Why? A secret guilty pleasure of mine has always been to watch Crappy Movies. (IE: Malibus Most wanted, Never back down, Scary Movie, etc) So I figure I write it down and tell people what I think about them. (But Imma write out the reviews of the really badass movies like…IRONMAN! & SPEEDRACER)

Prom Night is one of the movies that had a huge ass marketing budget that pretty much had their movie posters plastered EVERYWHERE. It was #1 this past week in the Box Office and that just shows you how strong of a market the horror genre is. Everybody wants to be scared!

Besides being a movie whore, and having a guilty pleasure of seeking out crappyass movies to watch, I also refer to myself as a enthusiast of HORROR MOVIES. I’ve watched a good amount from classics like PSYCHO, to legends like Halloween, Nightmare on Elmstreet to old school flicks like Invasion of the BodySnatchers & the remake The Invasion. (If you don’t get my drift, I watch a lot)

So watching this movie my first thought was, dope! This director decided to go back to the basics and create this almost Michael Myers-like movie. Nope. It was cheesy to a point where I just couldn’t handle it. I’ve worked w/ some production stuff, not a lot but I mean I’ve seen the creative meetings of a couple of directors that I know on how they want their short/movie to appeal to the audience. I felt like this director couldn’t decide on how he wanted the movie to feel out. For a minute I felt like he was going for the classic old school feel of just a good murder, but there was some shots that made me think, is this gonna be a twist?? (Do you know what I’m talking about, like the part in a movie where you think the director is going somewhere with the story, maybe throwing in a twist & at the end of the movie you realize it was just going with the story line and the scenes were just extra shit.) It really bothered that there was so many scenes that was super irrelevant, and there were times when a character would talk and I was thinking “Does this person really need to say anything right now??.” I was just really disappointed. There were about 7-8 murders in this movie, and I don’t really think I’ve seen any of it. Were they really trying to stay within the PG13 rating? (I’ve never really noticed this rating thing before, but I felt disturbed that these dead bodies were JUST SHOWING UP) You never really saw the killer kill anyone except like twice? The protagonist was just walking around and finding dead bodies. (By the way, if I was a killer I would totally not just rock a fucking a POCKET KNIFE/DAGGER…-_- I would definintely have some huge type of hacksaw, or some ninja stars..or a 9 millimeter with a silencer… Get SHIT DONE.) The main cop guy, you know the guy that isn’t really the MAIN CHARACTER, but he’s the hero trying to solve this case? Yeah, that guy sucked ass. He looked like a broke version of the one Black Dude from Law & Order (Jesse L. Martin) Except he couldn’t act, they should have just got the Law & Order guy.

Brittney Snow, I feel bad for her. I feel like she felt like this was a big role for her career. She’s been stuck in the teen movie genre. I think she probably thought taking on this role could launch her career as like the next Jamie Lee Curtis (Jamie Lee did a movie called Prom Night too, I’m not sure if this was a remake) I felt like this movie made her look ugly. She looked really like NOT good at times. Also the black girl who is her sidekick/bestfriend looks like a C-Rated version of Gabrielle Union.

I’m sitting here at 530AM in the morning trying to think of PROs for this movie and to be honest, I dont think I can think of anything. I like how the movie ended. I think if the director really tried to figure out what kind of feel he was going for the movie instead of trying to make it into a murder flick then a suspense movie….then a teen movie. I sat there confused. Also EVERY SCARY MOVIE has those like “incidents” that are super CRAZY and then the main character wakes up from it, and its really a dream. This movie did this trick twice! thats fucking cheating…How are you going to use the same trick twice!. Lame
Movie Grade : D-

PET SEMATARY (growl)

“Thursday night, what shall we do? “
“Lets get drunk, and watch a scary movie!”
“yeahhh, tom pick a movie, u like scary movies, u should know a good one”

So as I walk through the  horror section of blockbuster, I thought to myself, what movie could these people really enjoy.  I myself am a fan of all type of horror wheter it be something gruesome like saw, or something just suspenseful as fuck as 1408.  Heck, I even love the old school movies such as the original suspense thriller “Psycho!”

The three choices are
a. The excorcism of Emily Rose
b. Amityville Horror (the remake)
c. Pet Sematary

I felt that with drunk people we wouldn’t watch Emily rose, maybe something like Amityville might work.  Nope! I pick the classic Pet Sematary.  At that time my mind was pretty much thinking..”This shit is a fucking classic.” One of the first Stephen King movies that I enjoyed, and also one of my favorite books of his besides “Carrie” (which is also a fucking classic)  (note: I need to read his book “On Writing” because I heard that shit is a great book by King)

So everyone is drunk, and the movie gets turned on…OMG everybody is SUPER annoying ahaha.  Drunk people cannot follow the plot lines of a movie like this.  I was pretty sober besides being a little “blown” (which i think helped me really think hard about the movie)  While I was trying to watch (espeically the endign when everyone finally shut up and complained to me how crappy the movie was) me, Anna, & Danny caught so much like symbolism, forshadowing, and irony of this movie.  Theres so much like little stuff that I’ve never noticed before when I was younger.  Things that we caught me off gaurd made me like the movie even more.  From all the great writing to even the great camerawork for a 1989 movie.  The sound track of this movie was insane.  So simple yet it created that flutter in your heart that I got while i was watching 1408 in the theatre.  I definetly will be re-watching this movie to make sure I catch everything.

Things we caught -
** The Cats name was “CHURCH” and when Church came back to life, The daugther Ellie said “CHurch Smells bad” which i feel is actually them giving a silent diss to the church of god
** The movie was actually really religious talking about death, and gods and how everything worked, which I’ve NEVER realized before
** The neighbor who kind of started this whole downfall, and made all of this start was named JUD, which i think may be short for JUDAS, the betrayer of Jesus
** The big rig truck was such a huge symbol.  It caused death, but also warned that death was coming.

Rewatch the movie, I dont’ want to kil it for ya’ll

Its a CLASSIC horror movie, that I feel is missed in the modern day horror cinema.

Grade : B+

Fighting movies usually kick a$$

I just watched “Never Back Down.”  The movie is pretty much about the newly popularized sport of MMA (Mixxed Martial Arts).  Shit is pretty loco.

The movie wasn’t a masterpiece like “Rocky” or it may not even be a cult classic like “BloodSport.”  But I think the movie pretty much did its job for me.  It made me leave the movie theater wanting to join a fightclub of some sort,  hahaa.

The movie’s main character was a cheap knockoff of James Franco, who apparently is a football player that gets popular at his new school cuz theres a video of him kicking asss in IOWA at a football game. (Apparently background checks at highschool now consist of youtubing people.)  So everyone thinks he’s badass and the antagonist of the movie “A cheap knockoff” version of Paul Walker decides to challenge him and pretty much kicks his ass, cuz that dude is a trained MMA fighter.

Pretty much its kind of like the whole “Karate Kid” meets Rocky (Bootleg James Franco also has a coach that is very Miyagish but black so more like APollo from Rocky, that every once in a while gives the kid some dope advice)

And of course theres a “Adrian” who the main character has to be in love with, and she crys for him when he’s getting his ass kicked.
The movie follows a very distinct formula of Sport Movies, but it was done tastefully, and wasn’t too corny.  Only part that bothered me really was the Epilogue.  It was real quick moment, but I was just like “that doesn’t need to be there”

Like I said the movie wasn’t a Classic Masterpiece, hell it might be forgotten bout in a couple months, but I enjoyed it.  I walked out satisfied.

Never Back Down  -  C+